


Hey Bartender! (Make it a Strong One!)

by Princesszellie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Thrawn Trilogy - Timothy Zahn
Genre: I feel like Eli drinks a LOT, M/M, No imagining needed, Oops, This one is shippy, alcohol always helps, there are a lot of admirals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29324934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princesszellie/pseuds/Princesszellie
Summary: Sometimes Eli Vanto forgets that words are powerful things and is painfully reminded he should watch what he says around Admiral Thrawn- even when they are alone. The old saying 'loose lips sink ships' takes on new meaning when your commanding officer is too clever for his own good, only understands Basic idioms when the mood strikes him, and uses them correctly maybe 70% of the time.
Relationships: Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	Hey Bartender! (Make it a Strong One!)

Most days on the ISD _Chimaera_ had a certain operational pattern; duty cycles, maintenance cycles, system check-ins and test runs. Every crew member in their place at the assigned time to do their assigned task; a usually unvarying sequence of events and familiar faces.

Which was why it was odd it had taken Admiral Thrawn several hours to notice Eli Vanto’s absence from the bridge. He couldn’t recall specifically when the human left the command deck, and he had not needed the Commander’s consultation on any ongoing issues this duty cycle, meaning most of the day had slipped by without any contact between them. It was an unusual occurrence in their routine, but now Thrawn required Eli’s presence. 

The easiest way to locate him of course would be just to com him, but Thrawn opted instead for a bit of the chase; it would make things more interesting on an otherwise mundane day. He checked all of Eli’s usual off duty haunts- the work out spaces, the officers mess, the one lounge with the huge view port where for whatever reason he liked to take naps; no Eli. That left only one place, and conveniently it was the space most appropriate for what Thrawn desired. Which was why, when Eli’s quarters were empty, Thrawn was left at a total loss.

Now ever so slightly miffed and maybe just a little bit concerned, Thrawn decided he would just page Commander Vanto after all and walked into his private office to do so- and surprisingly found his quarry.

Eli was leaned against the desk, his back to the door. The lights were down low and all four extra-large data screens were projecting long streams of numbers simultaneously. From his posture it was abundantly clear he was deep into his own mind and the cascading numbers flashing by at dizzying speeds. The movement of his head was subtle as his eyes tracked from output to output following patterns of interest.

Earlier in the day he had set up camp in Thrawn’s office due to the size and speed of the screens as they were of course the best on the ship. His own set up wasn’t adequate enough to run data samples of this size, and being able to look at them all at once was proving to be quite enlightening. At the time Eli had considered asking to use the space, but Thrawn had been mid lecture of some poor Lieutenant on first bridge duty and there was no way he was depriving someone else of that charming and life scaring experience- he’d paid his own dues ages ago.

Besides, technically speaking, after all these long years whatever was Thrawn’s was also Eli’s by default. It was basically an unwritten rule of the _Chimaera_ and of many ships before her. Rank, privilege, mutually assured self-destruction- all the stuff that kept life interesting for other command officers was just convenience to him.

Some part of his brain not occupied by the numbers had assumed Thrawn would eventually show up- it was his room after all- but after becoming consumed by his query time had became meaningless and there was nothing else in the galaxy except Eli and these seemingly unconnected numbers.

Thrawn watched Eli for a minute or two, taking in both the view as well as the process. He had never met anyone as gifted with this kind of work as Eli Vanto and it was always a pleasure to watch him in his element. In typical fashion he had kicked his boots off and was barefoot on the cold durasteel deck plating, his uniform tunic had been unceremoniously tossed on a chair. A completely untouched mug of room temperature caf was at hand, tucked carefully next to a small statuette of a furry beast and a stack of plastisheet notes in Thrawn’s own handwriting. As always Vanto had made himself right at home which perhaps under other circumstances might have annoyed him. However, as Thrawn had a very particular objective in mind and he had now located the necessary personage it was time to complete his mission.

Moving quietly, and draping his white uniform tunic over Eli’s already discarded one as he passed, Thrawn stepped behind Eli. He expected his reflection in the centermost screen to catch Eli’s eye, but it didn’t so when he slipped an arm around the man’s waist he let out a startled yip.

“Why do you always do that!?” Eli squawked when he could breathe again. The Chiss sneaking up on him happened more then he cared to admit too, and he hated it almost all of the time. No amount of admonishment had ever gotten him to stop- clearly.

“It is _my_ office,” Thrawn said softly in his ear.

“I needed the screens,” Eli muttered half of his mind still tracking something odd on screen three. Was that a repeat in data set or was it just an error….no there it was again…. not at all coincidental. With a wave of his hand he paused the screen and _tried_ to return his focus to screen two. _Tried_ being the operative word, the admiral very clearly wanted his full attention.

_God damn it_. Thrawn had for sure come in with one very clear intention- and while it wasn’t one Eli objected to (ever) this was not a good time! Thrawn was obviously aware of this fact and it was exactly why he was making very sure to be unignorable. How many times had Eli himself employed this same tired and true tactic? Evidently enough times for the lesson to stick- god payback was a bitch.

Unsuccessfully biting back a whine of both desire and annoyance as Thrawn nibbled down his neck Eli felt whatever tendril of hypothesis he had going start to slip away. Thrawn could feel the same shift in Eli’s mind happen in his body and smirking he let his hands wander under the flimsy shirt between him and Eli’s soft skin. Watching Eli’s face in the screen, he took delight in the pounding of the human’s heart under one hand and let the other one travel slowly in the opposite direction.

The first contact of Thrawn’s slightly cold hands made Eli shiver like it always did. The sensation would never ever get old, and without his conscious consent his body arched excitedly following their trajectories. Particularly the hand sliding down the waistband of his pants…

“Hey now! Are you at least going to buy me a drink first?” Eli drawled as he gasped in pleasure.

Thrawn stopped abruptly. “Explain.”

_Krayt._ Not the right time to drop a colloquial turn of phrase. Critical error. “It’s just a saying, don’t worry about it.”

The pause continued. _Double krayt._ “Do you require a drink?” Thrawn questioned.

“No. Like I said it’s just an idiom.” Eli rested the back of his head on Thrawn’s shoulder and glared at the ceiling, mad at himself for his really poor choice of words.  
  
“Explain.”

The human sighed, “It’s just something you say when someone gets too personal too quick or you know their about to fuck you over and you are aware of it.”

Thrawn frowned. “The implication is that alcohol will ease the act?”

“Yeah, something like that. It’s a joke.” Eli assured him.

“It does not sound humorous at all.” Thrawn was clearly off track now and Eli had no one to blame but himself and his stupid mouth. The heat had entirely burned out of the moment and there was no point in carrying on- now he really did want a drink.

With a rueful smile he started to pull away from Thrawn’s hold. Thrawn gave him a questioning look. “I know how this works…you’re going to worry this womp rat down for a while.” Eli reached up ruffled the hair at Thrawn’s temples in a way he knew irritated him. “I meant it as a joke, but now you are truly driving me to drink.”

With the closest look Thrawn ever came to a pout, Eli slithered from his grasp leaving him to enjoy watching the human walk away-the view was, as always, excellent.

Aware of his admiral’s eyes on him, Eli got the proverbial drink himself. He was hopeful after a few minutes of contemplation and probably some research Thrawn would give up on figuring out human slang and come back around to the task he had started. _Now_ Eli was in the mood for a distraction, particularly of the nature which he had just been offered. He sipped his drink and sauntered back over to Thrawn who continued to watch him intently like the apex predator he was.

Eli offered him the glass and Thrawn polished it off in one shot, setting the empty glass on the desk with a very solid _thump_. Ignoring Eli’s wide eyed indignation at having his drink so rudely disposed of, he pulled the human close again and pinned him against the edge of the desk. “Let us now test the theory alcohol improves the current situation.”

Eli’s eyes got wider in anticipation and excitement, “Yes sir,” he grinned.

\----

The holo-call was taking exactly ten minutes too long for Eli’s liking. Put enough admirals in a room, even just digitally and they never ran out of things to argue about. As usual Thrawn was the quietest and was standing thoughtfully studying the reactions and body language of the others. Eli had started to zone out a little, his mind still running through the dataset he had left open at his desk to attend this meeting with Thrawn- who would be annoyed to know his mind was not completely on the direct task at hand.

There was just something annoyingly off, yet still possibly important to his inquiry in the file and he really just wanted to get back to it. This meeting wasn’t even something he needed to be present for and he could not shake the nagging feeling there was something significant in those trajectory scans.

“Are you at least going to buy me a drink first Admiral Durril?” Thrawn asked his tone dry and perfectly level.

The words cut through Eli’s thoughts like a hot knife and all the air left his body in a forceful gasp which might have included a very sharp curse coupled with a certain admiral’s name, but ended in one of the most violent coughing fits of his life.

Commodore Faro stared at him incredulously from across the room as Eli doubled over briefly, certain he was going to die- from lack of oxygen, shock or shame- it was a toss-up of which would take him first.

He wasn’t the only one taken aback by Thrawn’s non sequitur choice of words. At least two of the other admirals stared at him in shocked silence, someone was _laughing_ and it was clear even in holoform that Admiral Konstantine didn’t get it at all. Admiral Durril most certainly got the inference and did not appreciate it, his rage was clear even from thousands of lightyears away.

Thrawn, the glorious bastard that he was, merely smirked and awaited a reply. He very pointedly ignored Eli’s theatrics in the corner, particularly the gesture that implied Eli was going to strangle him as soon as this meeting was over. By now the shock had worn off and the admiralty was back to arguing- but this time with Thrawn’s initial suggestion gaining more support.

Faro watched the wordless interaction between Admiral Thrawn and Commander Vanto with mild interest. Nothing involving them surprised her any more. Sure, Thrawn’s off color comment _had_ come as a surprise- this time he used the idiom _correctly_ at least- but Vanto’s overreaction seemed out of place. There was no doubt Thrawn had picked up the turn of phrase from Eli, but there was something more to it…

The call ended, and the holo-admirals faded away cutting any further contemplation of her fellow officers short. Work was now about to be required.

Thrawn turned to his gathered senior officers, and made the mistake of making eye contact with Eli.

“ _You can’t say things like that to those people!”_ Eli snapped, dropping into Sy Bisti.

_“Why not? It clearly had the intended effects.”_ Thrawn countered coolly.

_“Because the entire navy is going to hear about it in less than ten minutes and it’s just not…”_ Eli struggled for exactly the correct concept to convey here. _“Civilized.”_

Commodore Faro cleared her throat; it was hellfire awkward to be witness to some sort of personal disagreement being held in a language you didn’t know. This felt like some sort of lover’s spat and she did _not_ want any part of this, whatever _this_ was exactly. They both turned on her, clearly having forgotten she was there.

“All is well Commander; Admiral Savit even laughed. As you said- it was a joke.” Thrawn’s self-satisfied smile made Eli want to scream externally instead of internally where he was _dying_.

Why in the gods name did it have to work!? If Eli had said such a thing he would be instantly crucified, and not just because his rank was lower but because with his Wild Space origins and accent it would have _sounded_ just like what it was- trashy. Thrawn makes the same inappropriate, low brow comment in his neat clipped basic and everyone just eats it up. Life was so very unfair sometimes and payback was always a bitch. Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Still have no idea what I'm doing, just take this away from me before I edit myself to death. UGH! For sure Thranto this time...I fell off the ledge, sorry. Its a fun fall though! :) 
> 
> I love them so much! Their also super fun to write, even if its a just a shade out of (traditional) character. 
> 
> I have no idea what I'm doing. This will keep me busy until show season- I should be memorizing First One, but naaaaaaaaaaaaah gonna write instead! yay. <3


End file.
